Hi Guys in a show of shorter notice, I would like to announce the next RanLAN. RanLAN 3: The Search for LAN is on Saturday Week.

That's right, August 14th and 15th should be filled with LANning goodness. Be there or be less than awesome.

July 22nd, Inception hits cinemas in Australia, and apparently it's also coming to IMAX.

Billed as "James Bond meets The Matrix", it's an asplosion-fest that quite simply begs to be extremely loud and six stories tall.

Dom Cobb is a skilled thief, the absolute best in the dangerous art of extraction, stealing valuable secrets from deep within the subconscious during the dream state, when the mind is at its most vulnerable. Cobb's rare ability has made him a coveted player in this treacherous new world of corporate espionage, but it has also made him an international fugitive and cost him everything he has ever loved. Now Cobb is being offered a chance at redemption. One last job could give him his life back but only if he can accomplish the impossible-inception. Instead of the perfect heist, Cobb and his team of specialists have to pull off the reverse: their task is not to steal an idea but to plant one. If they succeed, it could be the perfect crime. But no amount of careful planning or expertise can prepare the team for the dangerous enemy that seems to predict their every move. An enemy that only Cobb could have seen coming.

I'm thinking of picking up a set of IMAX tickets (which are already on sale). Which of you funkasauruses would like to come along, and what date and time would be best?

Post preferences here, and we'll get it all set up. I can probably go buy the tickets myself, or someone who works closer to Darling Harbour can do it for me.

As most of you know, Mr and Mrs Lunzo are subscribers to the Sydney Symphony Orchestra. This means we go to eight concerts a year. In fact we were there last week to see the violinist Midori (strange yet cute name) play some Mozart with the orchestra. The standard of playing is excellent. Couple some music with a meal out before the concert and you've got the makings of an entertaining yet refined night out on the town.

As an exclusive NWTJ offer, we have two tickets to give away to an upcoming concert. You too could experience the Lunzo style described above. The tickets will be offered on a first come, first served basis. Log in for more details. Respond by the end of this week if you're keen!

Grrr, baby, grrr.

You read that correctly: your friend and mine, the GrubLord, is now a co-producer of an upcoming blockbuster movie, having done my share to fund the production and promotion of "The Tunnel", a horror movie based on the hidden underground tunnels beneath the city of Sydney.

In 2008, chasing rumours of a government coverup and urban legends surrounding the sudden backflip, investigative journalist Natasha Warner led a crew of four into the underground labyrinth. They went down into the tunnels looking for a story – until the story found them. This is the film of their harrowing ordeal. With unprecedented access to the recently declassified tapes they shot in the claustrophobic subway tunnels, as well as a series of candid interviews with the survivors, we come face to face with the terrifying truth. The Tunnel also marks the first time that missing sound recordist, Jim "Tangles" Williams, speaks about his experience during those chilling hours… This never before seen footage takes us deep inside the tunnels bringing the darkness to life and capturing the raw fear that threatens to tear the crew apart, leaving each one of them fighting for their lives.

This movie is notable in that it embraces an ingenious model of funding and distribution formerly unthinkable to movie creators - which may well represent the future of entertainment. Like Flattr before it, this seemingly-crazy 'copyleft' idea (also affiliated with the notorious "Pirate Bay") embraces the Internet as being a positive force for human culture, rather than an arts-destroying force that must be stamped out.

This kind of optimism, faith in humanity, creativity and cleverness is something I consider truly Australian, and I am proud to own a little piece of this soon-to-be legendary movie.

I would be prouder still if some of my dear friends would sign on as co-producers as well. When the film is released, I encourage any of you who took part to send me a copy of whichever frame of the movie you made possible (which they will send to you, upon completion), and I will combine them all into an NWTJ gallery, celebrating our patronage of the arts.

... besides that... did you know there were secret tunnels down there?

Timmy fell down the old well?!

... no? That's not it?

Well, that's me out of guesses...

... wait a second...

That's it, boy!

It's Liv's Birthday on the 30th!

(And we're celebrating on the 18th July!)

(... because he's in China, that's why!)

(Now stop interrupting!)

Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat's right, campers, you heard it here first! The GrubLord's 26th Birthday Extravaganza is taking place in almost a month, and all NWTJ crew are invited - nay REQUIRED! - to be in attendance.

I myself will be flying 8,947 km to be there, so excuses like "I'm in Denmark" will no longer be entertained! Get over here, people: we've got buffalo wings for everybody!

I have the occasional flight of fancy each year regarding fabulous new 'original' ideas for parties, because for whatever reason just a standard party always seems passé... but after three months in Communist China you can bet your finest Burgerbeer that right now, all I crave in terms of novelty is the company of the people I love best (that's you guys!), the finest food on God's green Earth (which will be in abundance on the day), and a comfortable bedroom without any Ashnils in it (hallelujah!).

As such, it's a bit of a Plain-Jane party this year: food and drink and merriment in the form of whatever entertainments you choose to bring along, plus the usual sundries - although no doubt I'll come up with some sort of Party-favours to spice it up.

So, now the ball's in your court. Throw me some comments, shoot me an email, do what you like, but for goodness' sake try to RSVP by the 30th of June (my actual birthday). If you would prefer us to change the date from the 11th, then please do let us know that well before the RSVP date. And, finally, if you have any suggestions for entertainments and the like, or just feel like bringing a potato salad, then by all means let me know.

Finally, a shout-out to all the ladies out there! Perhaps it's the inevitable complicated card-games that get played, or perhaps it's the fear of taking the train home with Ashnil, but spouses, girlfriends and the like occasionally assume they are not invited to such events. Allow me to blow that thought clear out of the water: GIRLS, YOU ARE INVITED. Especially you, Emma. Just turn up for the grub, I don't mind.

I *am* the Grub, remember?

See you there!

IMPORTANT EXTRA NOTICE: When you RSVP for the party, please also indicate whether you'd prefer the 11th of July, and state your interest and/or availability for a Ski Trip this July. Ethistan has passed the baton of responsibility to the most responsible person you all know - namely me! - and I am working up final numbers now (and/or deciding whether it's a go at all), so if you want to hit the slopes with a vengeance, please indicate as much in your RSVP. Thanks, everyone!

Velkommen, mine gode NWTJ venner!

Hvordan går det med Deg?

That's right, you know what time it is! It's time for another GrubLord Eurovision roundup!

And what a show we've got for you this time around, folks. There's nothing quite like Eurovision to work the kinks out of your tired brain and fill it up with pure Fabulousness. One hopes you didn't miss the official Aussie broadcast on SBS (and, really, why would you deny yourself so?), but if you did have no fear! I shall provide all the footage you need right here.

Of course, I can't actually view these SBS vids from China, so you're going to have to tell me if any of the links break.

Alright, folks, on with the show. As you know, every year the countries of the world engage in their corrupt voting contests to pick a winner, blithely oblivious to the fact that their rankings are woefully far from the truth - namely my own personal ranking.

Here, therefore, for your edification and that of the rest of the misguided planet, I present the songs of the Eurovision 2010 Finals in an ascending order of GrubLord-approved excellence.

From the top, then... if by 'top' you mean the bottom of the barrel. Here we go!

• Ukraine - This song starts with good pacing, and looks to be going somewhere good. Moreover, the performer is just plain hot! A cryin' shame, therefore, that the song is one big flop. After it becomes clear that the entire song is one huge setup for a payoff that never comes, no amount of flesh-coloured dresses and cleavage could save it from last place.



• Israel - A couple of dudes standing around wailing does not a winning Eurovision entry make. It may be a touching song about loss, and all that, but it's also an entirely un-Eurovision bit of boy-band fluff that simply doesn't do it for me. This guy would have more luck reciting dark poetry in an Emo club. Go back to Kfar Sava, pretty boy.



• United Kingdom - I want to rate these guys a bit higher, particularly since Britain is such an underdog in these things... but really, how can I when they rock up with cheesy-ass shiz like this? I mean, a certain cheese-factor is practically required for a Eurovision win, but surely the creators of the English language can write better frikkin' lyrics. Seriously, Britain? Seriously? I don't know about you, but it doesn't sound that good to me.



• Spain - There's... uh... a clown, a ballerina, a doll thingy, a toy soldier, a jester... and even some fat guy that shows up late and starts singing. Is he meant to be there? Anyway, they do this puppets-on-strings bit and then dance around Heath Ledger's Spanish cousin while he sings about small things. The dude gets way into it, and has quite a unique sound... but there's not a lot of power behind the performance. It's telling that when they screwed up the first time, prompting the organisers to let them go again, I didn't even notice. Some ugly guy in a red hat ran onto the stage in the middle and disrupted the performance, apparently, but given the dolls and the fat guy and so forth, he pretty much looked like he was meant to be there.



• Belgium - Well... true to the name of the song, "Me and My Guitar"... it really is just him and his guitar. If only he weren't such a wank.



• Moldova - Romania's backward cousins started with a pretty cool rotating-glowing-violin number, but quickly lost their way when their lead singer was revealed to be a cross between Seven-of-Nine, Pink, a French maid and a shower curtain. On top of that, the entire band seems to have indulged in the old Romanian Soccer Team tradition of bad dye jobs. Weak-ass attempt.



• Azerbaijan - I couldn't point out Azerbaijan on a map, and this song definitely didn't put 'em on it. It gets a bit power-ballady at the end, I guess, and a couple of acrobatics happened... but the song is pretty dumb, to be honest, and if the lead singer didn't occasionally look like Summer Glau it'd probably be even less well ranked on my list.



• Iceland - God those are ugly-ass dresses. The fat chick should fire her seamstress. The others could maybe stitch on some white fluff and pretend they're sexy Santas. Considering their skill as backups, it might be a more suitable gig. There are a couple of moments when they're really in sync, and this song starts to get good, but overall it's just missing a certain je ne sais quoi.

• Portugal - Now we're starting to see some progress. Portugal knows how to set the bar. They've got a good setup going with that lighting, their singer is likeable and the music has a good sound. Her backup ain't great, I suppose, but you can't have it all. Overall, it's a worthy entry, and I liked it. We're starting to get into the good stuff.



• Bosnia & Herzegovina - This dude pulls a pretty cool song & dance number before suddenly he whips out his electric guitar and rocks out ol' school. Behind him, his backups shimmy in totally retro outfits, and it all just comes together. Very stylin', and he certainly makes his country look good... but I can't quite shake the feeling that he isn't quite as cool as he thinks.



• Armenia - Ever wanted to see Angelina Jolie grooving with some zombies? This song has that and more! Good sound, good pacing, and there's definitely some cool moves to be found. But then, we're at Eurovision here, people: if you're going to go this far, you owe it to the crowd to totally flip out.



• Serbia - Now here's what Eurovision is all about. This nutty-ass Serbian number features some guys who look like electricians, a couple of girls in flippy skirts and a flaming homo, all stuffed in some tubes. They break out and magic happens, the girls doing the robot and shaking their tush while the electricians pull the funky jives and the homo struts about like he owns the joint, crooning some whack shiz in his home language. He's probably singing about pelvic-thrusts, I don't know, but this crazy bastard works that stage. He owns it.



• Greece - Grease up an overweight pimp and cross him with an aging John McClane, throw in some well-oiled Greek bodybuilders and you've got this dance number. The performance has got all kinds of cool ethnic touches: the instruments, the drums, the sound, the style. That kind of thing plays well with me. OPA! ... is that Altaïr?



• Turkey - Conversely, there's nothing very Turkish about the Turkish entry... but then that's probably for the best. Instead, we are treated to an awesome rocker vibe by a set of greasy Turks with definite musical skills. Particularly given the distinct lack of bad accents, despite having chosen to sing in English, the song is pretty awesome... and as if that weren't enough, they've got backing from one of the Power Rangers, playing an angle grinder, who later turns into a chick!



• Belarus - A very classy setup, this, with some lovely dresses, classy suits and even a grand piano. Presumably these guys wandered into Eurovision by accident, on their way to the opera house. The bad accents threaten to sink this one, despite the stylin' execution, but that is until the smooth moustache-guy opens his mouth and kicks this puppy into gear. Helped along by some theatrics, in the form of their rockin' butterfly-reveal, these guys definitely rank amongst the better contenders.



• Romania - At long last, my mother country. Who'd have thought they'd make it this far up the list? I'm sick of people singing in English by this point, but these Romanians pull it off: the whole thing is awesome and cheesy and very well done. I swear, the dude even shoots a firework from his hand at one point WHILE playing the piano! It's got a great beat and a bold presentation, but I think what sinks this one for me is the lack of chemistry between the two lead singers. The girl is crooning about lovin' this guy with the voice of a phone-sex operator, but her body language says she'd rather open-mouth kiss one of Romania's rabid, garbage-eating dogs. This feels less like a romantic ballad and more like courtship between an expensive stripper and Akmal Saleh.



• Denmark -My people may have messed this one up, but Konrad's countrymen did a great deal better in the chemistry department. There's a good lead couple, it's better staged, the music is funky, and the leads are really singing TO each other rather than looking off into space. Thow in the fact that they harmonize well, and their support crew blends nicely into the background leaving the focus entirely on them, and you've got yourself a fine romantic song. Even so, their dancing could be better.



• Germany - So this one won, eh? Hard to fathom. In her own words to the audience: "Ihr seid verrückt!" Lena's dancing can best be described as "stiff" in the final, and even though she has a great stage presence we see only a little of that in this performance. The song she's singing has a weird-ass sound, and her strange accent really takes a lot of getting used to... but actually, I think that is the genius of it. I found myself having to watch it again and again to make a proper decision, and every time I watched it I felt like pushing it up a bit in the ranking. The song really grows on you, and moreover I personally am a big fan of the fast-singing she does here so well. Undoubtedly there's a reason this song is #1 on iTunes all over the shop. I'm going to go out on a limb here, though, and say that reason is mostly Lena herself. When she starts to get into it, her dance moves are full of quirks and attitude, and however you slice it the girl is utterly adorable. The voting Eurovision TV-audience has been watching her for a lot longer than we have, and that is a downright dangerous concentration of cuteness. Make me watch this or this a few more times, and she wouldn't just have my phone vote, I'd give her my house-keys and credit card number.



• Cyprus - This may be a bit too college-radio for my tastes, but there's no denying that the choice of acoustic instruments, 'sensitive-New-Age' lyrics and an understated sound worked wonders for these guys. The song is tasteful and well-executed, with a very good sound and a charismatic vocalist. No doubt Ash and any other NWTJ-ites prone to celebrity-worship will scream heresy at my ranking anyone above Lena (at least once they've unglued their eyes from her photo), but there you have it, people: the GrubLord is as unbiased as he is accurate and fair. Cyprus deserves this position.



• Albania - Is that Madonna's mom? I didn't know she was Albanian. The ol' battleaxe is keeping well. Moreover, I am impressed at the brilliant decision of having a gospel choir back her up to add power to her voice. It really works! Also, her violinist is not afraid to really ham it up (or, for that matter, to appear on stage with that hairdo), which I feel like I can appreciate. Great entry.



• Georgia - No cheating with gospel choirs here, though: the Georgian singer provides all her own power, and she has plenty of it. She's passionate, beautiful and an excellent singer. Also, her backup has a great colour scheme, and two sultry dancer guys who are so immensely studly that regardless of what they are doing, they can't seem to turn off their bedroom-eyes. Rrowr!



• Norway - This singer is a real crowd-pleaser, and I like how this group created an elegant mood. Once again with the tasteful, dignified styles... that's great and all, but you don't get to be the next ABBA by playing it safe. I think Eurovision demands a bit more ham & cheese, personally, and the world community would seem to agree (having ranked Norway 20th out of 25). That's a pretty unfair ranking for a great bit of music, though, and I think the host country deserved to do better with this particular song.



• France - Ooh yeah, France! These guys sure know how to put in a Eurovision song. Sure, none of these dudes actually looked French... but hell, they sang in French, and they had some serious styles. France had it all: a hoppin' beat, some damn cool moves, a great high-energy performance, plus they really knew how to shake those butts. The immediate reaction to this stuff quite simply has to be "Hells yeah, I can groove to this!". The French entry was cool, dynamic and a serious amount of fun.



• Russia - And the silver medal goes to... Russia! This song really captured my imagination. The way they created atmosphere with their costuming and fake snow, etc., was brilliant, and the lead singer was expressive and powerful, with good backup and a fantastic voice. The overall effect is that of seeing a choir of roadside bums start shuffling about and singing in the Russian winter, and having the whole thing escalate bit by bit into a fantastic opera. Epic.

And finally, the winner of the GrubLord vote:

• Ireland - That's right, Ireland. They were a little understated for a Eurovision entry, so I can sorta see how they might have gotten passed over, but dammit, this crew had done everything right. They had excellent atmosphere, transforming the stage into the rolling moors and golden vales of Ireland, and fielded an awesome backing of musicians (with flutes!). These were all supporting a singer with an amazing voice and the stage-presence to match. I don't know where on the Eurovision constitution it says "No Fat Chicks", but it must be on there somewhere, because that is the only explanation I can think of for such a magnificent performance to have been officially ranked third-last.

Aaaaaaaand that it for Eurovision for another year. Congratulations to all of the fabulous contestants, and my thanks to you, my loyal readers, for readin' through this far.

This is the end of GrubLord's roundup of Eurovision 2010, and I look forward to covering the latest of European beats for you all in Germany next year.

Don't forget to vote for your own favourites, in the comments!

Today was going to feature my Eurovision post, but technical difficulties related to the Chinese Internet have pushed that task into overtime.

As such, for the time being I invite you to enjoy the following insight into my life... and yours?

Ninjas aré awésomé. Whät mőŗe dő I ñeed tő säy?

Wheñ I säw this iñ the päpeŗ, I thőught thät it mäy häve eveñ beeñ the NWŦJ dőjő thät wäs iñvőlved, but I säw őñ the ñews thät it wäsñ't.

Neveŗtheless kñőw thät the peőple őf Melbőuŗñe äŗe well äwäŗe őf yőuŗ tiŗeless effőŗts tő pŗőtect häpless főŗeigñ studeñts.

Best äñti-cŗime meäsuŗe eveŗ... mäybe we shőuld häve ñiñjä pőlice őfficeŗs? Ŧheñ ñő-őñe wőuld eveŗ wäñt tő bŗeäk the läw äñywheŗe becäuse the ñiñjä-cőps cőuld be wätchiñg yőu fŗőm äñywheŗe...

So the weekend's come and gone, and no post from the GrubLord. What gives?!

Well, in short, I wasn't feeling like a lot o' postin' after a full week's work and all that.

On a more insidious note, however, my weekend was taken over by a spree of anime-obsession. I am denied most of my usual pleasures by the unavailability of gaming, fast internet and the like, here in China... but this does give me the perfect opportunity to focus on my artwork, and to watch all the anime series I never have time for in Australia.

As such, this past week I have had the chance to finally watch Spice & Wolf, a series that could very well be what you'd get if you crossed an adventure story with a treatise on the medieval economy, and spiced with anime girlies (to taste). It's basically a story of commodity and currency trading, but turned up to 11 and starring a ridiculously cunning merchant and the pagan wolf goddess that lives in his wheat.

Yeah, anime plots are weird.

Anyway, said wolf goddess happens to be adorable, which led to a bit of a creative fusion of interests this weekend (read: me sitting around all day drawing fan-art).

So, yeah, I hope you enjoy this little look inside my 'art studio', and what I have been up to this past weekend. We will return you to your regularly scheduled travelogue soon, but until then I will darn well keep on drawing wolf-girls until I start to get it right!

How did you guys spend your weekend? Regale me with your tales of delectation, and your unsolicited art critiques, in the comments!

I goŧ a bîŧ excîŧed and sŧarŧed on ŧhe nexŧ ünîŧ în mÿ Dogs of War armÿ. Insŧead of büîŀdîng mÿ Empîre Sŧaŧe Troops as Paÿmasŧer's Bodÿgüard wîŧh haŀberds I had a braînwave and decîded ŧo büîŀd Leopoŀd's Leopard Companÿ însŧead. These güÿs are recognîsed as one of ŧhe beŧŧer pîke ünîŧs as ŧheÿ are Immüne ŧo Psÿchoŀogÿ (whîch îs vaŀüabŀe and rare în ŧhe DoW ŀîsŧ). As ÿoü can see I've üsed Knîghŧs Panŧher heŀmeŧs and shîeŀds ŧo add ŧhe reqüîsîŧe ŀeopardîness ŧo ŧhe vanîŀŀa Empîre bodîes. To represenŧ ŀîghŧ armoür, whîŀe üsîng shîeŀds, I'ŀŀ be paînŧîng anÿ armoür on ŧhe ŧorsos dark brown ŧo ŀook ŀîke ŀeaŧher armoür and gŀüîng ŧhe shîeŀds on sŀüng over ŧhe mînîs shoüŀders.

Work-în-progress phoŧos (cŀîck for ŀarger versîons):



I pîcked ŧhe green, ÿeŀŀow and whîŧe coŀoür scheme becaüse I needed a sŧrong coŀoür ŧo conŧrasŧ wîŧh ŧhe ÿeŀŀow, büŧ wanŧed ŧo sŧaÿ awaÿ from ŧhe bŀüe ŧradîŧîonaŀŀÿ üsed on Knîghŧs Panŧher. Iŧ aŀso remînds me of ŧhe waÿ LLC have been paînŧed bÿ ŧhe 'Eavÿ Meŧaŀ ŧeam.

As ÿoü probabŀÿ aŀreadÿ know I've goŧ some scraŧch-büîŀŧ Cürsed Companÿ în ŧhe works pŀüs I've ŧhoüghŧ oüŧ how ŧo do Ogŀah Khan's Woŀfboÿż and Voŀand's Venaŧors wîŧh a ŀîŧŧŀe kîŧ-bashîng of cürrenŧ range boxes. Gîven how hard (read: expensîve) îŧ îs ŧo geŧ ŧhe orîgînaŀ meŧaŀ RoR mînîs and ŧhe facŧ ŧhaŧ some of ŧhem don'ŧ ŀook ŧhaŧ specîaŀ* I'm a bîg fan of bashîng ŧogeŧher some mînîs ŧhaŧ ŀook ŧhe parŧ. *Obvîoüs excepŧîons încŀüde Long Drong's Sŀaÿer Pîraŧes, who woüŀd jüsŧ be ŧoo hard ŧo converŧ from meŧaŀ Sŀaÿers, hence whÿ I've boüghŧ 12 of ŧhem.

Fînaŀŀÿ, ŧhanks ŧo RJ for hîs generoüs donaŧîon of spare bîŧs ŧo heŀp ŧhîs ünîŧ come ŧo ŀîfe.