Nothing Wins the Justice

Lîfe în Kîsŀev îs coŀd and hard and ŧhe maŀevoŀanŧ ŧhreaŧ of Chaos ŀooms over ŧhe horîżon. The Kîsŀevîŧe peopŀe müsŧ be rüŧhŀess and üncompromîsîng, rejecŧîng anÿ sîgn of weakness or Chaos ŧaînŧ even when îŧ concerns ŧheîr own chîŀdren. So îŧ was ŧhaŧ ŧhe broŧhers Karażamov foünd ŧhemseŀves facîng cerŧaîn deaŧh from exposüre on a coŀd wînŧer's nîghŧ.

When ŧhe prîesŧess of Shaŀŀaÿa dîvîned ŧhaŧ she was carrÿîng ŧwîn boÿs ŧheîr moŧher smîŀed warmŀÿ knowîng ŧhaŧ her hüsband woüŀd be weŀŀ pŀeased wîŧh ŧwo sŧrong backs ŧo heŀp rün ŧhe famîŀÿ ŧürnîp farm. So some monŧhs ŀaŧer when ŧhe boÿs emerged hünch-backed and sŀack-jawed Gregor Karażamov ŀeŧ faŀŀ a smaŀŀ sîgh before ŧakîng ŧhe mewŀîng înfanŧs and sŧeppîng oüŧ înŧo ŧhe dark nîghŧ.

As was ŧradîŧîonaŀ among rüraŀ Kîsŀev foŀk, chîŀdren or ŀîvesŧock showîng anÿ sîgn of foüŀ Chaos înfŀüence were ŧaken and ŀefŧ în ŧhe open ŧo awaîŧ ŧhe jüdgemenŧ of Uŀrîc, woŀf-god of ŧhe Ŋorŧh. Forŧünaŧeŀÿ for Ivan and Oŀeg ŧhe woŀves ŧhaŧ foünd ŧhem soon afŧer were püŀŀîng a sŀed...

Grîżnîŧ îs devîoüs and cünnîng, whîch îs noŧ ünüsüaŀ for a hîŀŀ gobŀîn, büŧ he had a pŀan, whîch was. Severaŀ weeks before hîs scavengîng parŧÿ foünd ŧhe babÿ Karażamovs Grîżnîŧ and hîs Gnobŀar maŧeż had "acqüîred" a Dwarven cannon. Accompanÿîng ŧheîr masŧers în ŧhe horde of Kerghaŧŧ Sküŀŀcrüsher ŧhe Pîg-Headed ŧhe Gnobŀars had cheered and jeered as ŧheîr ferocîoüs masŧers broke ŧhroügh ŧhe baŧŧŀe ŀîne of a doüghŧÿ Dwarf force and sŀaüghŧered ŧhe arŧîŀŀerÿ baŧŧerÿ behînd. Spÿîng some woünded crewmen ŧhaŧ ŧhe Ogres had mîssed Grîżnîŧ and hîs maŧeż qüîckŀÿ despaŧched ŧhem wîŧh some handÿ rocks and sharpened spoons and made off wîŧh ŧhe shînÿ brass cannon, gŀowîng wîŧh goŀd and sîŀver rünes.

Raŧher ŧhan seŀŀ ŧhe cannon ŧo ŧhe Scrappers Grîżnîŧ büŀŀîed hîs feŀŀow Gnobŀars înŧo keepîng îŧ, for he had a dream. Theîr Ogre masŧers had broüghŧ ŧhem over ŧhe Worŀds Edge Moünŧaîns far from The Dark Lands and ŧhe feared Chaos Dwarves. Here în ŧhe Oŀd Worŀd Grîżnîŧ wanŧed ŧo ŀîve as manÿ of ŧhe Ogres dîd, as a mercenarÿ! Ŋow wîŧh a fîne Dwarf cannon în ŧheîr possessîon, ŧhe hümans woüŀd wanŧ ŧo hîre Grîżnîŧ and hîs maŧeż and paÿ ŧhem wîŧh shînÿ goŀd ŧrînkeŧs ŧo boss ŧhem aroünd. And now Grîżnîŧ feŀŧ he had been bŀessed bÿ hîs gods, he had a cannon and hîs woŀves had foünd noŧ one büŧ ŧwo sŧrong hüman chîŀdren ŧo crew îŧ. Sneakîng awaÿ în ŧhe nîghŧ Grîżnîŧ and a mob of hîs împressîonabŀe Gnobŀar maŧeż made off ŧo sŧarŧ ŧheîr ŀücraŧîve mercenarÿ careers.

Unforŧünaŧeŀÿ for Grîżnîŧ ŧhe gods were ŀaüghîng aŧ hîm on ŧhe daÿ when he foünd ŧhe babÿ hümans în ŧhe snow. Fîrsŧŀÿ, ŧhe hüman chîŀdren ŧook ŀonger ŧo maŧüre ŧhan ŧhe average Gnobŀar, forcîng Grîżnîŧ's crew înŧo fîfŧeen ÿears of a hand-ŧo-moüŧh exîsŧence dürîng whîch manÿ of ŧhe orîgînaŀ escapees have been ŀosŧ, eîŧher ŧhroügh predaŧîon, deserŧîon back ŧo servîce of ŧhe Orges or ünforŧünaŧe ŧraînîng accîdenŧs. Ŋoŧ onŀÿ ŧhaŧ, büŧ Grîżnîŧ was horrîfîed ŧo reaŀîse ŧhaŧ ŧhe fîne, sŧrong hüman chîŀdren he ŧhoüghŧ he had sŧoŀen aŀŀ ŧhose ÿears ago have grown üp hünch-backed and dîm-wîŧŧed. Thoügh ŧheÿ are müch sŧronger ŧhan Gnobŀars Ivan cüŧs off ŧhe füse as ofŧen as he süccessfüŀŀÿ ŀîghŧs îŧ and Oŀeg ofŧen mîxes üp ŧhe ŀoadîng of ŧhe cannon, pŀacîng ŧhe baŀŀ behînd ŧhe powder, and has shoŧ more ŧhan one Gnobŀar oüŧ of ŧhe barreŀ whîŀe he was ŀearnîng.

Regardŀess of ŧhese seŧbacks Grîżnîŧ and hîs devoŧed crew of masŧerŀess Gnobŀars and orphaned Kîsŀevîŧes can now operaŧe ŧheîr sŧoŀen cannon and are fînaŀŀÿ readÿ ŧo begîn ŧheîr careers as a gün crew for hîre.

It looks like NWTJ is about to get overwhelmed with Warhammer content, what with the Battle Royale and the various modelling/painting posts. In order to maintain variety, it falls to me to throw in an item of more general interest.

Now, as you all know, it is my yearly habit to write up, for the benefit of my NWTJ brethren, the highlights of the Eurovision Song Contest. Goodness knows that without my prompting, a great many of you might miss this most excellent of events. I can't have that: as an European in good standing, Eurovision is in my blood. I feel it is my duty to edify you in this respect. There are certainly very few yearly television events I enjoy more, and together with the Viennese New Year's Concert, it is one of only two musical occasions on the yearly GrubLord calendar.

Imagine my horror, then, to find that this year I will be missing Eurovision! Trapped deep within the bowels of Communist China, I shall most likely be watching the regulated, state-approved equivalent, which I imagine to be several elderly women in sequins emitting the cat-torture sound of Chinese Opera as they pluck a seven-string lute with their incredibly smooth, yet highly arthritic, rice-softened hands.

Worse still, this leaves Syfro in charge of making the traditional Eurovision post, since China's banlisting of YouTube leaves me with not even the inferior Internet-video alternative to work from.

What's a fancier of cheesy European song-and-dance numbers to do?

Why, find an alternative Eurovision to write about, of course!

No doubt the image below has already clued you in... to wit, it would appear that Eurovision entertains a lesser-known opposite number, namely the Junior Eurovision Song Contest. Starring youngsters from all over Europe, it is literally the whole festivity writ small.

Don't ask me who came up with this crazy idea - gathering children from all manner of countries and turning them into Eurovision-style performers for a smaller version of the whole enterprise - but when I initially came across it as I was looking up the Eurovision 2010 dates, I immediately thought of it as a bad idea. Described in this way, it smacks of the peculiarly American vice of holding Child Beauty Pageants, which - in my view - are rather less a chance for youngsters to shine than a vehicle for overbearing parents to rob them of their formative years.

Not so in this case, however. It is clear from just watching a lot of these kids that they are definitely here by choice. In fact, the organisers go so far as to send psychological experts to evaluate potential stars' families and ensure that any children selected honestly enjoy and aspire to a musical career, and aren't simply being manipulated into it by their parents. I appreciate the care taken to safeguard the children's best interests - in this, and other matters, such as controlling the presentation to avoid, for instance, some of the more objectifying female outfits one might find in Eurovision proper - and it is amazing to me that not only are these children all aspiring artists in their own right, but they are very, very good.

I should note also, before we get to the contestants, that even though the performers all 10-15 years old, they also write their own lyrics. As such, there is rather a feel of the youth zeitgeist about it all: the children can and will choose to sing about anything they please, and this has led to all manner of cuteness (of course), but also explorations of weightier matters in the form of (literally) childrens' songs. Add in that contestants must sing the majority of their entry in their native language, and the fact that they have a lot of creative control over outfits, props and the whole process, and you really do have the formula for something really special (and incredibly fun for the kids!). There is energy, love and youthful exuberance overflowing from this event, and it creates such a beautiful blending of cultures and nations that I am not surprised some people pin their hopes of future generations' peaceful coexistence on collaborations like this one.

You don't have to take my word for all of this goodness, however: let's take a look at some of the highlights together. I've tried to source these from different parts of the YouTube, based on where the best sound was to be found. In true Eurovision style, the official voting process produces some remarkably skewed results, so I will - as always - present my own favourites as I believe they ought to be scored. Be sure to indicate your personal preferred order in the comments, to make your own voice heard!

GrubLord's Top 13 Songs of JESC 2009

#13 - Belarus, "Volshebnyi Krolik" - It's absolutely a credit to the quality of this event that the lowest-ranked thing in my list is nevertheless an amazing performance that has pretty much put Belarus on the map. This kid not only shamelessly hams it up for the crowd, but he and his ensemble go from rapping to opera to acrobatics within the space of a couple of minutes. This performance is 100% unbridled emotion and energy, and definitely deserves your attention.

#12 - Malta, "Double Trouble" - Francesca and Mikaela are charismatic, but I feel they were let down by their material. This song didn't really work for me at all, really, which is a pity because it seems to me like this duo could've gone a lot further than they did.

#11 - Sweden, "Du" - This felt a little formulaic to me, but that's not to say this isn't some high-impact singing. Great performance overall, but the lack of a strong chorus line made me less eager to rate it particularly high. Your mileage may vary.

#10 - Cyprus, "Thalassa, Helios, Aeras, Fotia" - This performance was great, in that the lead singer has a beautiful voice, and does a great job with the lyrics. I would've rated it a bit higher, perhaps, but I don't know... looking at that audience, I feel like we're listening to different songs. It didn't feel to me like there was quite as much energy in the song as the crowd would have it appear. In a contest with so much passion, that leaves it at #11 in my book.

#9 - Armenia, "Barcelona" - It takes a lot of courage to do what this girl is doing, and it's pretty inspirational to watch her do it. One gets a real sense of her strength of character, she has a great singing voice, and the whole thing reminded me greatly of the rich European soccer culture I have unfortunately had to trade for the boneheaded Australian equivalent as a consequence of moving here - a loss I now feel all the more keenly for the reminder. Perhaps I'll have to do a World Cup post, now, having said that.

#8 - Russia, "Malenky Prints" - This song weirds me out, but in a good way. Maybe it's just that she's singing in Russian, but it takes a bit of getting used to at first. Nevertheless, there's a lot about the song itsef that I like, and the girl singing manages to convey a lot of character and add extra dynamism to the song through her movements and use of props. Overall, it's a clever bit of music, and Ash is bound to like those outfits that look like school uniforms.

#7 - Macedonia, "For Love" - Is it just me, or does this belong in Eurovision proper? This girl is a rising star for sure, and the song and backup dancers both do a great job. I can see me adding this to my music library as a decent song in its own right, and despite how much junk I've got in there that's a pretty high recommendation.

#6 - The Netherlands, "Click Clack" - Of course, this little dude has the previous beat by a long-shot. Combining a catchy song with varied dance moves, tap dancing and a great deal of showmanship, Ralf shows us pretty clearly why the judges chose him to win the competition... but he didn't quite win my lineup, nevertheless.

#5 - Romania, "Ai Puterea in mana ta" - What can I say? Romanian girls are the cutest. Besides that, though, I really like the song. Perhaps it's unfair to judge lyrics given that I can't understand most of the other songs, but the words of this song resonated with me, and frankly I can't get past the awesomeness of those suit-outfits the girls are wearing. Earnest, good music, great outfits, nice lyrics, plus I'm a biased judge, and - bam! - you've got a worthy #5.

#4 - Georgia, "Blue Bird" - Bias or no, though, I can't pass up this song for #4. It's sung by an overly-cute band of little girls who call themselves "Princesses" and seem to harmonise perfectly. This song is so much fun, I can't help but feel like singing along. Also, like "Click Clack", it uses just the right amount of nonsense-syllables to make for an extremely catchy chorus. That English bit in the middle kinda kills the pace, though, I feel.

#3 - Ukraine, "Try Topoli, Try Surmy" - I'm pretty sure that's a boy in the cart there, and either way he puts together a fantastic bit of music. The look and sound is traditional in a good way, blending in just enough modern elements to keep it hip and current. Well judged and well executed, in a way I certainly wouldn't have expected from such a young singer. I very much liked this one, and I think it ought to have done better in the official ranks.

#2 - Serbia, "Onaj pravi" - If I thought the previous one was underrated, however, I felt it much more so for this song. To be fair, it probably doesn't deserve a #2 spot, technically speaking. However, what this boils down to is basically a little dude in a top-hat and a bunch of tiny little girls with tutus and electric guitars rippin' it up on the world stage. If there is anything that absolutely epitomises this event, it's that. Having become a rather more pedantic, critical type of person as part of my reviewer/researcher job, I wanted to rate this lower, really I did, for various reasons... but the song's been stuck in my head all day, and they keep on creeping their way back up the list. In the end, I couldn't help but put 'em at #2. If you click the link, be prepared to be unable to stop humming that tune for a while. That middle girl has a heck of a singing voice, to boot.

#1 - Belgium, "Zo Verliefd" - Well, here it is. The best darn video you'll watch all year. I can't express just how much I love this song. Just go watch it and come back. This girl is only ten years old, and she is an absolutely amazing singer, having mastered not only a beautifully rising voice that tugs at the heartstrings, but even the difficult art of yodeling. Add to that the inherent beauty of the language and the song, and just how exceedingly fun it all is, and you've got yourself a winner by anyone's standard. You may not enjoy the lyrics themselves as much as I, but if all the happy kids and yodeling don't make you crack a smile you oughta change your day-job.

And that's it for my Eurovision coverage this year. Catch you all for the next one. I'll still try to do Eurovision 2010 if I can, but if not there's always next year's. As for the Junior Eurovision, maybe some time soon we'll get to see Connie Talbot take one home.

Until then, I hope I have exposed you to some stuff you might never have seen otherwise, and that it's brought a little extra happiness into your day.

Here's some news for those of you who have armies of 1000 points and plan to attend my Australia Day Battle Royale. I'm throwing down the gauntlet!

I had set the points total of the event at 500 points, worrying that I might not complete 1000 in time, but said worry proved unfounded. Behold, above (click to zoom in), my 1000 point Chaos Space Marine Army!

With this, I have put together every model I have, with the exception of a couple of Rhino tanks and some Chaos Spawn (which I don't need yet).

I eagerly await our next 40K order's arrival, so's I can run a more balanced list... but until then, I am happy to just swarm the board with nasty-ass evil marines.

Provided XacK doesn't field TOO many tanks, I'm feeling pretty confident for Tuesday.

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Yesterday, with the RJorb's kind permission, we descended on his house to celebrate Ranneko's birthday.

The event was a remarkably cheerful one and the food, games and company were excellent.

Thanks, everyone, for bringing down food, drinks, ice, games, etc., and for making the long trip down to the Shire to take part.

We kicked off with the usual trash-talking and flatulence, and wound down the night with a piratey adventure of doubloons, krakens and swashbuckling on the high seas, as well as some Western shootouts and Lord of the Rings Confrontation.

Best wishes from all of us on your birthday, Ran. We're glad that you chose to spend this day with us, and we hope that you had fun.

Thanks again to everyone that came, and to RJorb for hosting. It is thanks to your efforts that this event went off with a "Bang!".

As I'm sure you will understand in the circumstances, the RanLAN scheduled for 16-17 January has been cancelled.

Alas, you are not trusted to receive it. Be off with you, non crew-member!

Saq and RJorb were just talking about purchasing more minis, and (lo and behold!) Maelstrom games appears to have just extended their January discount voucher to Jan 18th.

This means we're got until then to enjoy a good 15% off minis! The discount doesn't apply to "Games Workshop Direct" stuff, and I'm not entirely sure which stuff that is exactly, but it does seem to apply to regular GW minis, so all's good.

If you're planning to buy something, shall we make a bit of a shopping list here in this post?

It's not imperative, since there's no tiered discounts, but I figure we might as well combine our order (with the exception of our good Melbournian and Denmarkian correspondents, at least).

The new year ought to be a time of self-improvement, and not a little ways into the New Year a lot of people have let me know in no uncertain terms that I do, in fact, require some self-improvement.

My ingrained habits have always tended towards irreverence, and I very often say things long before I've given them any thought. As noted at length elsewhere (numerous elsewheres, even), this causes a lot of friction with people who take these things more seriously than I do (which is just about everybody).

I don't want people stewing long hours over some obscenity I voiced 'cause I thought it might be funny. I don't want to have any more arguments in which I need to find a logical way to defend something I've said when I don't even know myself why I said it. Finally, I certainly don't want people bearing grudges against me for arguments resulting from these attempts at self-rationale.

Rather than extend the wall of text, I'll add that this is hardly the only way I offend people without cause, and I need to adjust how I comport myself in social situations if I no longer want to 'be that guy'. Allow me to skip straight to my solution.

A time-honoured classic in the behaviour-correction game is the so-called swear-jar. Swearing offends people, we don't want to continue offending people unnecessarily, and having to pay the jar money each time one swears adds a very real 'sting' to each instance of bad behaviour which over time can be quite successful in motivating change.

I'm putting the same principle to use here, save that I'm using a higher mint of coins than usually go in the jar, and I don't keep the money for a rainy day, but pay it out as a symbolic 'compensation'. In short, if you are one of the people I offend regularly, you stand to make a lot of money. Here are the rules.

The Rules

• I'm going to start carrying an abundance of gold coins. If I don't get rolled on a street corner for the clinking noises I make, these coins will be used to pay a Penalty each time I engage in my previous unconstrained behaviour and thus hurt someone's feelings.
• The penalty game continues until I leave for Beijing on the 31st of March.
• During this time, each Penalty will be paid to the injured party in the form of one (Australian) gold coin.
• Whenever I say something to you that is directly insulting or hurtful, you are eligible to claim one Penalty.
  • N.B.: This is not a swear jar. Pointing out foul language is all well and good, but if I haven't actually made a value judgement, or at least used an insulting pronoun, there's no Penalty.
  • Also: If I should manage to directly insult a number of people with the one statement, the one to hoot and howl most dramatically about how offended they are will receive the penalty payout. In the case of a tie, small change will be split out.
• Whenever I make you a written or public promise (for instance, to do something at a certain time), and break it without first renegotiating a mutually agreed alternative, you are eligible for one Penalty.
• If I have undertaken to arrive at an event you organised at a specific time, and have not given you least an hour's notice of having been held up, you may claim a Penalty (in addition to the one for going back on my word, for a total of two).
• If I do not turn up to your event at all, despite having promised to do so, you may claim a Penalty. (This would be the third.)
• If it is not mutually agreed between us whether a Penalty is justified, the matter will be handled by the splendid legal team of RJorb & Co. Inc. Pty. Ltd.
• If you believe there is something else that I do regularly which ought to warrant a Penalty, put it in this post and I promise to consider it. If I believe this quality, also, needs to change, it will be added to The Rules.
• In the case of an appropriate gold coin being unavailable at the time a Penalty is called, it will either be bank-transferred by phone, or paid at the next available time.
• All Penalties will be recorded in a tally in my Little Black Book. Injured parties will be given the option of my posting these statistics at the end of the period.

So there it is. Aside from hopefully motivating a fast and positive behavioural change in myself, one hopes each Penalty will also balm the hurt of those who are upset by my actions. If I say some inconsiderate things about you, the Penalty should be sufficient to buy an ice-cream to salve the pain.

If I'm as bad as people say, then I hope that my bankruptcy serves as an object lesson to others, and ask that the beneficiaries build a small orphanage with the money. It doesn't have to have my name outside it, just please put a bronze statue of a card-playing dog in the foyer; and never explain why it's there.

As promîsed, here îs mÿ game-ŀegaŀ Dogs of War armÿ, compŀeŧed în 2009:



Béttér photos and fluff to follow, its just too darn hot ATM to work on it (or indééd to writé any moré)...

Edit: Wo0! First gamé tomorrow night, list will look sométhing liké this:

Mérçénary Captain with morning star and pistol

Paymastér with héavy armour, Ençhantéd Shiéld and Talisman of Protéçtion

Hiréling Wizard with Đispél Sçroll

Thé Bordér Prinçélings

Thé Miragliano Séwér Guard (no çommand)

10 Crossbowmén

21 Norsé Maraudérs with flails, light armour and full çommand

10 Norsé Maraudérs with shiélds, light armour and çhampion

4 Øgrés with gréat wéapons and musiçian

1 Cannon

Wish mé luçk!

What a fortuitous start for thé mén from Tiléa! Théir first foray into thé Ŀustrian junglés résultéd in thé massaçré of a Ŀizardmén patrol. I’ll bréak down thé army’s pérformançé unit by unit and hopéfully you’ll bé ablé to piéçé togéthér thé story of thé battlé from théré.

• Ůnit of thé matçh: Øgrés 10/10 Iñ ä Chäős äŗmy this uñit is geñeŗälly ä secőñd-tieŗ hämmeŗ äs theŗe is geñeŗälly pleñty őf őtheŗ scäŗy stuff őñ the täble (Kñights & Chäŗiőts), hőweveŗ this time they weŗe the scäŗiest thiñg I häd (äñd the őñly uñit with ä betteŗ thäñ humäñ stätliñe). Ŧhey fulfilled theiŗ jőb ädmiŗäbly. Due tő me gettiñg the fiŗst tuŗñ the Ogŗes thäñkfully ävőided äñ excessive ämőuñt őf pőisőñed blőwpipe shőts äñd chäŗged iñtő sőme bädly pläced Škiñks őñ Ŧ2. Pŗedictäbly they busted thŗőugh äñd iñtő the fläñk őf the mäiñ Šäuŗus blőck. Šubsequeñtly they bŗőke äñd ŗäñ dőwñ the Šäuŗus theñ chäŗged äñd chőpped up the Šälämäñdeŗ äñd fiñälly helped ägäiñst the Šcäŗ-Vet.
  
  
• Crossbowmén 9/10 Añ äwesőme debut fŗőm the Cŗőssbőwmeñ, with ä little help fŗőm Lädy Luck. Iñ theiŗ fiŗst eveŗ ŗőuñd őf shőőtiñg they put 3 wőuñds őñ the Šäuŗus Cäv whő pŗőmptly ŗőlled 1,1,1 főŗ säves. Ŧhey dŗőpped äñőtheŗ Cőld Oñe Rideŗ iñ the ñext tuŗñ äñd theñ, despite beiñg bőmbed by the Ŧeŗŗädőñs, chäŗged iñ tő help the Cäññőñ cŗew. Ŧhey eveñ did well iñ clőse cőmbät, stäbbiñg ä few Ŧeŗŗädőñs. Iñ the läst tuŗñ őf the gäme they häd ä chäñce tő täke őut the läst őf the Šäuŗus Cäv with ä Štäñd äñd Šhőőt, but he pässed his säve. Veŗy impŗessive főŗ ä 80pt uñit, I ñeed tő päiñt it up äñd theñ get the őtheŗ 10 up äñd ŗuññiñg tőő.
  
  
• Norsé Maraudérs 8/10 I cäñ see why DőW pläyeŗs lőve these guys (fŗeñzy theŗefőŗe ItP) äñd I’m gläd thät I’ve gőt ä läŗge Chäős äŗmy tő dŗäw őñ. Ŧhe mäiñ blőck (with fläils) uñfőŗtuñätely didñ’t see much cőmbät thäñks tő the Ogŗes’ demőlitiőñ őf the Šäuŗuses but they held őut älŗight ägäiñst ä Šcäŗ-Vet iñ the fläñk. At őñe pőiñt 5 gőt fŗied by the Šälämäñdeŗ but they didñ’t cäŗe, bŗilliäñt! Ŧhe smäll uñit did well äs ä chäŗäcteŗ buñkeŗ.
  
  
• Đuéllists 7/10 Peŗfőŗmed theiŗ jőb őf duäl scŗeeñiñg well (ie stőppiñg peőple fŗőm seeiñg my Mäŗäudeŗs äñd stőppiñg my Mäŗäudeŗs fŗőm seeiñg thiñgs they shőuldñ’t). Ŧhey mäñfully held up ägäiñst Főŗked Lightñiñg äñd Šälämäñdeŗ flämes äñd didñ’t ŗuñ uñtil the Šcäŗ-Vet stäŗted chőppiñg them up. Nőt täkiñg cőmmäñd wäs ä gőőd ideä äñd iñ futuŗe I thiñk I’ll dŗőp theiŗ thŗőwiñg kñives becäuse Š3 shőts ät 6” äŗe ñőt ŗeälly wőŗth 2pts eäch.
  
  
• Mérçénary Captain 6/10 Didñ’t dő ä lőt, but didñ’t die. I didñ’t fäñcy my chäñces ägäiñst ä Šcäŗ-Vet with 4 pőisőñed Š5 ättäcks with ñő äŗmőuŗ ső I just kept him őut őf the wäy tő pŗeseŗve the Ld8 bubble.
  
  
• Hiréling Wizard 6/10 Yőu cäñ’t expect much fŗőm ä L1 scŗőll cäddy except tő pŗővide ä little mägic defeñce. Ŧhis he did well, but the Ogŗes did betteŗ by killiñg the eñemy wizäŗd iñ Ŧ3.
  
  
• Cannon 5/10 Fiŗiñg the cäññőñ főŗ the fiŗst time wäs veŗy excitiñg, I guessed exäctly ŗight, ŗőlled sőme gőőd bőuñce äñd killed 3 Šäuŗuses! Uñfőŗtuñätely this wäs äbőut äll it did siñce the ñext shőt weñt guess +4” äñd I tŗied ä gŗäpeshőt äfteŗ thät. I wäs pleäsäñtly suŗpŗised ät hőw well I guessed, ñőt äs häŗd äs I thőught, thőugh I cäñ see why gŗäpeshőt is ä ŗäŗely used őptiőñ. Miñe fäiled ägäiñst the sőlő Šcäŗ-Vet due tő the 4+ päŗtiäl, mäybe ä mőőted mőved tő ‘ñő päŗtiäls’ iñ 8th ed will help. Afteŗ thät the cŗew gőt eñgäged iñ cőmbät by the Ŧeŗŗädőñs. Ŧhey főught bäck but eveñtuälly died.
  
  
• Paymastér 5/10 Mőst impőŗtäñtly he didñ’t die. Ŧhe päñic check főŗ äll uñits wheñ he dies is ä ñästy little häñgőveŗ fŗőm 5th ed(?) which äll DőW pläyeŗs tŗy tő ävőid ät äll cősts. I kept him ñice äñd säfe iñ the smäll Mäŗäudeŗ buñkeŗ äñd mőved them up behiñd the mäiñ blőck äñd the Ogŗes tő pŗővide BŠB ŗeŗőll suppőŗt. It tuŗñs őut thät the uñits thät did ñeed the ŗeŗőlls weŗe őñ the őtheŗ side őf the täble äñd the Ogŗes didñ’t lőse ä cőmbät äll gäme, but I thiñk my stŗätegy wäs sőuñd.
  
  
• Ŀight Cavalry 4/10 A sub-päŗ peŗfőŗmäñce by my fäst cäv, they huñg äŗőuñd the bäckliñe tŗyiñg tő shut dőwñ the Ŧeŗŗädőñs. Ŧhey chäŗged iñ tő help defeät them, but ñőt befőŗe the Cäññőñ cŗew died. Ŧhey theñ őveŗŗäñ iñtő the lőñe suŗviviñg Šäuŗus Cäv, fluffed theiŗ ättäcks äñd fled őff the täble. Ŧhey’ve häd betteŗ däys.