Nothing Wins the Justice

Lîfe în Kîsŀev îs coŀd and hard and ŧhe maŀevoŀanŧ ŧhreaŧ of Chaos ŀooms over ŧhe horîżon. The Kîsŀevîŧe peopŀe müsŧ be rüŧhŀess and üncompromîsîng, rejecŧîng anÿ sîgn of weakness or Chaos ŧaînŧ even when îŧ concerns ŧheîr own chîŀdren. So îŧ was ŧhaŧ ŧhe broŧhers Karażamov foünd ŧhemseŀves facîng cerŧaîn deaŧh from exposüre on a coŀd wînŧer's nîghŧ.

When ŧhe prîesŧess of Shaŀŀaÿa dîvîned ŧhaŧ she was carrÿîng ŧwîn boÿs ŧheîr moŧher smîŀed warmŀÿ knowîng ŧhaŧ her hüsband woüŀd be weŀŀ pŀeased wîŧh ŧwo sŧrong backs ŧo heŀp rün ŧhe famîŀÿ ŧürnîp farm. So some monŧhs ŀaŧer when ŧhe boÿs emerged hünch-backed and sŀack-jawed Gregor Karażamov ŀeŧ faŀŀ a smaŀŀ sîgh before ŧakîng ŧhe mewŀîng înfanŧs and sŧeppîng oüŧ înŧo ŧhe dark nîghŧ.

As was ŧradîŧîonaŀ among rüraŀ Kîsŀev foŀk, chîŀdren or ŀîvesŧock showîng anÿ sîgn of foüŀ Chaos înfŀüence were ŧaken and ŀefŧ în ŧhe open ŧo awaîŧ ŧhe jüdgemenŧ of Uŀrîc, woŀf-god of ŧhe Ŋorŧh. Forŧünaŧeŀÿ for Ivan and Oŀeg ŧhe woŀves ŧhaŧ foünd ŧhem soon afŧer were püŀŀîng a sŀed...

Grîżnîŧ îs devîoüs and cünnîng, whîch îs noŧ ünüsüaŀ for a hîŀŀ gobŀîn, büŧ he had a pŀan, whîch was. Severaŀ weeks before hîs scavengîng parŧÿ foünd ŧhe babÿ Karażamovs Grîżnîŧ and hîs Gnobŀar maŧeż had "acqüîred" a Dwarven cannon. Accompanÿîng ŧheîr masŧers în ŧhe horde of Kerghaŧŧ Sküŀŀcrüsher ŧhe Pîg-Headed ŧhe Gnobŀars had cheered and jeered as ŧheîr ferocîoüs masŧers broke ŧhroügh ŧhe baŧŧŀe ŀîne of a doüghŧÿ Dwarf force and sŀaüghŧered ŧhe arŧîŀŀerÿ baŧŧerÿ behînd. Spÿîng some woünded crewmen ŧhaŧ ŧhe Ogres had mîssed Grîżnîŧ and hîs maŧeż qüîckŀÿ despaŧched ŧhem wîŧh some handÿ rocks and sharpened spoons and made off wîŧh ŧhe shînÿ brass cannon, gŀowîng wîŧh goŀd and sîŀver rünes.

Raŧher ŧhan seŀŀ ŧhe cannon ŧo ŧhe Scrappers Grîżnîŧ büŀŀîed hîs feŀŀow Gnobŀars înŧo keepîng îŧ, for he had a dream. Theîr Ogre masŧers had broüghŧ ŧhem over ŧhe Worŀds Edge Moünŧaîns far from The Dark Lands and ŧhe feared Chaos Dwarves. Here în ŧhe Oŀd Worŀd Grîżnîŧ wanŧed ŧo ŀîve as manÿ of ŧhe Ogres dîd, as a mercenarÿ! Ŋow wîŧh a fîne Dwarf cannon în ŧheîr possessîon, ŧhe hümans woüŀd wanŧ ŧo hîre Grîżnîŧ and hîs maŧeż and paÿ ŧhem wîŧh shînÿ goŀd ŧrînkeŧs ŧo boss ŧhem aroünd. And now Grîżnîŧ feŀŧ he had been bŀessed bÿ hîs gods, he had a cannon and hîs woŀves had foünd noŧ one büŧ ŧwo sŧrong hüman chîŀdren ŧo crew îŧ. Sneakîng awaÿ în ŧhe nîghŧ Grîżnîŧ and a mob of hîs împressîonabŀe Gnobŀar maŧeż made off ŧo sŧarŧ ŧheîr ŀücraŧîve mercenarÿ careers.

Unforŧünaŧeŀÿ for Grîżnîŧ ŧhe gods were ŀaüghîng aŧ hîm on ŧhe daÿ when he foünd ŧhe babÿ hümans în ŧhe snow. Fîrsŧŀÿ, ŧhe hüman chîŀdren ŧook ŀonger ŧo maŧüre ŧhan ŧhe average Gnobŀar, forcîng Grîżnîŧ's crew înŧo fîfŧeen ÿears of a hand-ŧo-moüŧh exîsŧence dürîng whîch manÿ of ŧhe orîgînaŀ escapees have been ŀosŧ, eîŧher ŧhroügh predaŧîon, deserŧîon back ŧo servîce of ŧhe Orges or ünforŧünaŧe ŧraînîng accîdenŧs. Ŋoŧ onŀÿ ŧhaŧ, büŧ Grîżnîŧ was horrîfîed ŧo reaŀîse ŧhaŧ ŧhe fîne, sŧrong hüman chîŀdren he ŧhoüghŧ he had sŧoŀen aŀŀ ŧhose ÿears ago have grown üp hünch-backed and dîm-wîŧŧed. Thoügh ŧheÿ are müch sŧronger ŧhan Gnobŀars Ivan cüŧs off ŧhe füse as ofŧen as he süccessfüŀŀÿ ŀîghŧs îŧ and Oŀeg ofŧen mîxes üp ŧhe ŀoadîng of ŧhe cannon, pŀacîng ŧhe baŀŀ behînd ŧhe powder, and has shoŧ more ŧhan one Gnobŀar oüŧ of ŧhe barreŀ whîŀe he was ŀearnîng.

Regardŀess of ŧhese seŧbacks Grîżnîŧ and hîs devoŧed crew of masŧerŀess Gnobŀars and orphaned Kîsŀevîŧes can now operaŧe ŧheîr sŧoŀen cannon and are fînaŀŀÿ readÿ ŧo begîn ŧheîr careers as a gün crew for hîre.

GrubLord: Haha - that whole regiment is awesome. Better even than GW's!

I love the banner you've made, too. That is a great bit of modeling. May Griznit (or is that Gorshak?) and his two dimwits win you many battles!

What is that on the cannonball base? That's not very clear in the picture.

teh_saq: Thanks Lîv, I was reaŀŀÿ keen ŧo geŧ ŧhîs ünîŧ paînŧed cos îŧ jüsŧ ŀooks so cooŀ! Grîżnîŧ and hîs pŀaŧform were fîŀed în ŧhe "Too cooŀ, müsŧ üse" secŧîon of mÿ bîŧs box as soon as I opened mÿ Ogres so I'm gŀad ŧhaŧ I fînaŀŀÿ goŧ ŧo üse hîm. I was orîgînaŀŀÿ goîng ŧo consŧrücŧ a müch more eŀaboraŧe pŀaŧform büŧ în ŧhe înŧeresŧs of jüsŧ geŧŧîng ŧhe ŧhîng done I sîmpŀîfîed, whîch maÿ ŧürn oüŧ ŧo be a good ŧhîng for ŧransporŧ pürposes. The marker wîŧh a cannonbaŀŀ has an ünforŧünaŧe Gnobŀar who has been sqüashed dürîng range-fîndîng exercîses. I üse îŧ as ŧhe marker for ŧhe cannonbaŀŀ boünce în game, îŧ comes from ŧhe BfSP kîŧ.

Props ŧo Eŀo for süppŀÿîng me wîŧh ŧhe Dwarf bîŧs ŧhaŧ make ŧhîs ünîŧ possîbŀe and ŧo Ŋem for ŧhe ŧorch-wîeŀdîng Gnobŀar (among oŧhers). I ŧrîed ŧo make ŧhe cannon ŀook oŀd and dîrŧÿ, hence ŧhe sooŧ marks aroünd ŧhe barreŀ and ŧhe împrovîsed ŧoüch hoŀe sînce ŧhe orîgînaŀ fîrîng mechanîsm has broken off. Hopefüŀŀÿ I'ŀŀ gîve îŧ a rün ŧomorrow, I don'ŧ ŧhînk îŧ'ŀŀ sÿnergîse weŀŀ wîŧh a Chaos armÿ, büŧ meh.

GrubLord: Let us know how it does.

RJorb: Great modeling and great backstory. I love it!

Lunzo: With a background story like you'll never roll a misfire. Number of misfires is inversely proportional to the quality of the crew. Compare your cannon with the engineered Dwarf & Empire cannons with their highly drilled crew which misfire on every second turn .

teh_saq: Weeeŀŀŀ I haven'ŧ mîsfîred ÿeŧ, so ÿoü maÿ be onŧo someŧhîng Lün...

Ŋow back ŧo paînŧîng Crossbowmen.

RJorb: Second turn? I wish!

GrubLord: And that's why the lesser races occasionally succomb to RBTE (Repeater Bolt Thrower Envy).

At least until they see it in action.

In theory, though, it's pretty darn reliable. Go elves!

teh_saq: 2nd game ÿesŧerdaÿ, sŧîŀŀ no mîsfîres. (Mînd ÿoü I onŀÿ fîred once before ŧhe cannon goŧ overrün bÿ Carrîon, îŧ was worŧh îŧ however as I shoŧ ŧhe charîoŧ from ünder a Tomb Prînce)

Ash, I have a sîŀŀÿ qüesŧîon for ÿoü, can TK încanŧaŧîons be dîspeŀŀed üsîng scroŀŀs?

@Grüb, ŧheÿ're pŀenŧÿ reŀîabŀe, as ŀong as ÿoü sŧaÿ awaÿ from sîngŀe shoŧ eh?

Ash: @Saq: TK incantations are just bound spells so they can be dispelled using scrolls. They are never cast with Irresistible Force (except for one of Queen Khalida's I think).

@Grub: I remember that RBT.

teh_saq: Thanks Ash, one of ŧhe güÿs I pŀaÿed on ŧhe weekend cŀaîmed ŧhaŧ sînce ŧhe încanŧaŧîon dîce can’ŧ be sŧoŀen or négatéd by magiç itéms thät this meäñt yőu cőuldñ’t use dispel scŗőlls őñ them. I wäs pŗetty suŗe thät thät cläuse wäs ŗefeŗŗiñg tő thiñgs like the őld Dŗäiñ Mägic (thät discäŗded 6’s ŗőlled tő cäst spells) but wäs iñ the middle őf ä gäme ső I didñ’t häve time tő äŗgue it. Nőw ŦK mägic is gőőd, beiñg 100% ŗeliäble, but ñőt thät gőőd! Miñd yőu he älső thőught thät yőu őñly ñeeded UŠ5 tő get ä ŗäñk iñ cőmbät, ñőt 5 mődels, ső I set him stŗäight őñ thät őñe.

Ash: You're right. The wording refers to things (spells, abilities, items) that affect the dice used to determine the power level of the Incantation.

teh_saq: FYI I'ŀŀ be giving up Warhammér for Ŀént this yeäŗ, ső the updätes őñ the DőW äŗmy will be őñ hőld uñtil äfteŗ Eästeŗ.

Lunzo: Hey saq, just remember that fasting is only of benefit if you replace what you're giving up with some sort of spiritual discipline. It isn't useful if you replace Warhammer with constantly thinking "I wish I could be doing Warhammer stuff".

teh_saq: Ŋo worrîes Lün, ŧhe maîn reason I gave îŧ üp was ŧhe excessîve amoünŧ of ŧîme I was spendîng ŧhînkîng aboüŧ WH sŧüff. Therefore I've püŧ everÿŧhîng awaÿ and am forgeŧŧîng aboüŧ îŧ compŀeŧeŀÿ and ŧrÿîng ŧo üse ŧhe ŧîme saved for exŧra Bîbŀe/oŧher devoŧîonaŀ readîng and ŀîsŧenîng ŧo GBC sermon podcasŧs.